One of those reasons is partly to do with how lost I became. Sounds odd, right? Well it's true. I felt as though I was adrift and had no way, absolutely no way, of getting back to shore again. I'll spare you all the details of what happened during that time, but suffice to say the journey I was on took it's toll one way or another.
I became a shadow of my former self, and as a result shrank away from everything - friends and family included.
Like I said, I was adrift.
But now I'm kinda back on an even keel again. I'm not perfect, but I'm back. The only problem is, however, that now I feel I've almost entirely forgotten who I am and what I love doing. It feels as though someone's pressed the reset button on the inside of my head and erased much of what I once knew.
I can't draw anymore, can't so much as paint a single image where, once upon a time, I used to be able to churn fantastical images out at the drop of a hat. Nor, it seems, can I write anymore. The ideas are still there, of course, but I don't seem to be able to turn my hand to putting thew rods together it would take to make something of a coherent story. And quite frankly, it's maddening.
I can sit to my desk with the best of intentions, but nothing more than a couple hundred words ever comes and then it's game over.
I'm working on it though. I'm trying to come back from whatever happened to me.
It's not easy though. God it's no easy. Especially as I don't even know what happened for all these things to stop.
Comments
Post a Comment