Partying hard is ok until vehicles get hurt.

We all like a drink from time to time, and we've probably partied so hard that we've done something so shameful that we could almost have never shown our faces again in public, right?

Okay, maybe not all of us, but some, at least.

So imagine, if you will, the moment you get so drunk that you decided, in whatever passes for wisdom while you're in such a state, to have sex with your car.

Yes, I said it: car.

It's never my first thought, but apparently for one slightly dim individual it was. Were not talking a small Ford or a Smart car here, we're talking a 4x4. How the hell is that even a last thought process? And when did the time come when women stopped looking so much like a romantic option that you decided to date your car?

True, it'll argue less and will always go where you want to go, and the face-lifts are easier on the pocket ... but I don't think I have ever stumbled my way home while drunk and stood beside a car and thought "Damn you're fine".

And it's not like he did it in the privacy of his own driveway. No, this guy did it in the street, beneath a watchful eye of a CCTV camera.

But each to their own.

Still, I am going to class it as a slight win. Only because if he did found himself doing the nasty it to the exhaust pipe then the guy needs a medal in the first place, because not only does this mean he is well endowed enough not to have to worry about wiggle room, it would also mean that, bless him, he may have actually succeeded in delivering his payload. The latter we will never know for sure of course. Nor, am I sure, I really want to.

Oh the humiliation of it. 

If I were him I'd be considering leaving the country. I couldn't cope.